A friend of mine and I were talking one day, while filming the teaser for Spider (a short film based on my short story). She said “Our next movie should be about killer tampons.”

“Hell yes it should,” I said.

I was not serious.

But the more we discussed it, and the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a great idea. I’d never written a screenplay before, and had no idea how to do it, but goddammit, the world needs this movie. What better way to test my comedic horror skills than by creating this piece of ridiculousness?

And so, while on a writers retreat, I wrote the entire screenplay. In three days. And you guys, it was one of the funnest things I’ve ever done. Writing a screenplay is all the best parts of writing a novel, with none of the boring tedious parts. It’s all action and dialogue! THAT’S ALL IT IS.

In my screenplay, titled Red Wings, a woman is bitten by a bat, and then discovers that...